The Independent Free Press, Georgetown, ON
Tuesday May 1 2007

LISA TALLYN, Staff Writer

Tom Regehr spent most of his 30s estranged from his family, drunk and
homeless.

But that life is worlds away from the one Regehr, 49, is living today.

It was not an easy road for the Georgetown man, but he has now been
sober for 12 years. He lives in a comfortable home, is reunited with his
family, is in a relationship, and is responsible for launching a support
group that has helped change the lives of many others struggling with
addiction.

Regehr’s dramatic transformation is being recognized at a gala dinner in
Toronto tomorrow (Thursday) by the Centre for Addiction and Mental
Health Foundation when he will be presented with a 2007 Courage to Come
Back Award.

The award recognizes the achievements of people across Ontario who have
shown courage and determination in the face of mental illness and
addiction. The winners have achieved personal victories and now serve as
models of hope and inspiration for others facing similar circumstances.

Regehr began drinking at the age of 14.

He was a party guy.

“Even in high school I was the guy who emceed the assemblies. I was the
rambling guy,” he says.

“My name was ‘Rambling’ because if I had money I would do five bars a
night. I drank all the time. From the age of 22 to 28 I probably would
have blown over (the legal limit) 24 hours a day.”

Regehr’s drinking was part of the “dance of distraction”– a way of life
he adopted to avoid facing his mom’s mental illness that surfaced while
he was in Grade 10. At about the same time, he also had to cope with the
fact his sister, who was a surrogate mom and his best friend, moved out
of the house.

“I was moving too quick, always telling a joke, being a clown, driving
too fast, working two jobs,” he says.

He says the “dance” became more intense after his girlfriend ended their
three-year relationship while he was in university studying landscape
architecture. His drinking was one of the main reasons she left.

Regehr soon turned to drugs as well– cocaine and Percodan.

He was making good money working in landscape design and construction,
but spending it as quickly as it came in on booze and drugs.

“It was serious partying. I could spend $1,000 in three days. I didn’t
know where I was going to wake up.”

Regehr did his first homeless stint at the age of 22. After drinking
away all his rent money, he ended up living in his car for three weeks.

“The booze was more important than the bed.”

And he was having fun, but he says “everything went for a dive when I
was 31.”

He says it was then that his mental illness started to surface. At the
time he was living with a friend in a rented house in Brampton.

Every three-and-a-half months or so he says he would have an “episode”
and end up lying on the floor naked and sweating for hours. One time he
crawled into a cubbyhole naked for two days.

Regehr’s roommate couldn’t deal with his odd behaviour and kicked him
out, starting a cycle of several years of living on the street, in
stairwells, friends’ couches, a shelter and even jail in various cities.

During that period, he says he applied for welfare many times and would
find a place to live only to lose it three months later.

His alcoholism remained a constant and he turned to fraud to make some
money.

Regehr had himself convinced that the current state of his life was just
a brief down period.

He has few memories of those years.

‘It’s like a state of shock where memories don’t form,” he says.

But he does recall having a lucid moment one day while he was on
Toronto’s Spadina Ave. He was shocked to find himself there.

“I thought f…, you’re a homeless dude.”

And he says he knew “real hunger.”

A year ago he was walking on a Toronto street past an alleyway when his
chest and gut tightened. That memory still stirs strong emotions in Regehr.

“The voice in my head says, ‘There’s home,’ and it scared me. This whole
flare of anxiety came back.”

His alcoholic lifestyle was taking a toll on his health. Regehr’s
intestines began to deteriorate and he was passing nothing but blood and
water for months. He had also lost his self-esteem, deeming himself
unworthy of being human.

At 37, Regehr turned a corner after being “shown some compassion and
understanding from some people.”

He says, while standing by Brampton City Hall one day a woman offered
him an empty apartment in her home if he would paint her garage. He took
her up on her offer.

Regehr can pinpoint the very moment he decided his life needed to change.

He was lying on the floor in the Brampton apartment, coming to after
blacking out yet again on booze and pills. He says he couldn’t move, and
was overwhelmed by loneliness.

“I realized if I can’t pour a beer or put Percodan down my throat, this
just wasn’t working for me.”

A short time later Regehr made a phone call from a nearby payphone to
the Region of Peel and told the lady on the other end of the line he was
an alcoholic and needed help.

Unlike the times he had reached out before for help, this time it
worked. He credits his success to a then new approach to dealing with
addiction known as harm reduction– kindness no matter what the person
chooses to do.

At 38 he attended various detox centres including a 28-day in-house
treatment, a three-week day program, and Alcoholic’s Anonymous. He
hasn’t taken a drink or done drugs since.

But after five years of sobriety Regehr found he was still struggling.
He couldn’t keep a job, a relationship, or a home without help. He still
hadn’t received help for his emotional pain and began two years of
difficult, intense trauma healing with a private therapist.

In 2000 Regehr started a self-help group called Come And Sit Together
(CAST). The group is a combination of all the best parts of groups he
had attended and Regehr says it’s not only for alcoholics, but for all
people who want to make big changes in their lives.

The group received Trillium funding in 2003 and today CAST meetings are
offered in Clarkson and Brampton.

CAST Canada, which Regehr now devotes himself to full-time, continues to
expand with a mission in reducing mental health and addiction stigma and
has offered 40 training events for professionals throughout Ontario with
more than 500 participants including shelter and housing workers,
lawyers and police officers. Regehr has plans to expand the sessions to
the corporate sector.

CAST Canada also has a high school visit program, and Regehr has spoken
at many schools in Halton and Peel.

Regehr is also involved as a representative and advisor of many mental
health organizations including Mental Health Works Ontario, the Ontario
Substance Abuse Bureau and is currently a working group member for the
development of an Ontario Drug Strategy.

“I have personally witnessed the impact Tom has had on individuals and
agencies in a rural setting, as well as on local and provincial levels
in other settings,” says Suzanne Witt Foley, his nominator for the
award, and friend.

Regehr couldn’t be more thrilled and proud to be receiving the Courage
to Come Back Award. Five others will also be given the award.

“In our world, it’s the Oscars. There’s nothing comparable in the
country,” says Regehr.

Lisa Tallyn

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