Dr. Gabor Mate’s “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”
Some comments about the book and what I think!
The book In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts and Gabor Mate himself sure get a lot of attention !! I am now reading to book from start finish after giving it a quick scan. So far, I have one large feeling and one large question right off the bat. First the feeling:
- there is a LOT of learning in this book !! I feel that everyone in the western world should read this book! And I want to find ways to capture, share and make real the learnings in practical ways. How could we do that? Hold workshops? Have gatherings similar to book clubs? Start a blog? hmMM? Did you read the book? Would you tell me what you found valuable? And tell me what you think in general. Some look at Mate as a hero, what do you feel?
And now the question:
- who the hell is Fellini? Mate refers to him twice in the first few pages of the book – and also, I guess I have 2 questions – I also need to ask - “Hey Gabor, who did you write this book for?”
Regehr accepting the prestigious Courage To Come Back Award from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health 2007
Hi Tom
It is rare, at this point in my life, that an author can teach me something serious about addiction at the experiential level. Biology is another matter, so is sociology. But I rarely get moved by touchy-feely talk. Yet Mate did just that: “The fundamental addiction is to the fleeting experience of not being addicted” (p. 107). Yes, as I think about it, that’s how it all began. The statement does more than explain why
we return, it speaks to the origins of the process as well.
As I read on, (Mate p.157, last paragraph), a woman says: “When I first did heroin, it felt like a warm soft hug”. Mate speaks of a psychological craving, rooted in emotional displacement. So there’s a compensation. We fill the void. In the rooms of 12 Step recovery, I’ve often heard that there is a God shaped hole in my soul, and that only He can fill it. Time was, drugs did the job. But drugs don’t work anymore.
Something’s missing, and maybe that’s endemic to the human condition. But the addict feels it like a burn.
I recall a movie where a junkie explains how a junkie can’t deal with the hassle of having to tie his shoes. Maybe that’s something his mom should still be doing for him…. We infantilize ourselves even further when putting shit into our mouths in much the same way that 2 year olds do — nothing matters except the pipe or bottle I’m gonna put in mouth.
Peter Ferentzy
Hi Tom:
I am just finishing up this book and found it to be very important and valuable for me. A lot of what he says about the fundamental problem is one of soothing pain resulting from early nurturing that is absent/abusive/inconsistent is what I already “know”, but he fleshes it out, makes it so clear with examples from people he treats and knows, PLUS makes the brain science behind addiction crystal clear. It is going to help me with my work and also with myself!
Olga
Hi Tom, I found the book to be very enlightening. Having struggled to understand my husband’s trauma (without addiction) I can now see the connection between childhood trauma and adult addiction/mental illness. We need more Doctors like him advocating for this vulnerable population.
Marilyn B.